truth, lies, and the inbetween
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: V was in a coma, Rika was the head of a cult, and Yoosung wasn't sure what was true anymore, what was a lie.


**Title: **truth, lies, and the inbetween

**Characters/Pairings:** yoosung/MC, Jaehee, Jumin, Seven, Rika, V

**A/N:** written for the Yoosung zine. I picked to continue the story of "what if the "true ending" occurred after Yoosung's route?

**Summary:** _V was in a coma, Rika was the head of a cult, and Yoosung wasn't sure what was true anymore, what was a lie._

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"V's in a coma."

Yoosung stared at Jumin, not sure if he had heard him right, these words spoken in the same way other people spoke of the weather or gave business reports. It was almost as though Yoosung was inside a boardroom instead of sitting on a hospital bed, in a private room that no doubt Jumin had paid for. There was no inflection in his voice; even his expression was blank like a mask.

Or a robot.

Maybe he was. Maybe this was a dream, like the one Yoosung had over a week ago. He could pinch himself, wake up, and none of this would have happened. Under the white, lemon-scented linens, Yoosung dug his fingers into his thighs, nails carving crescents into his skin. Tiny pricks of pain jolted up his leg but nothing happened.

Jumin still stood there at the edge of the hospital room, picking each word carefully as though the next one might shatter Yoosung. Maybe it could. He felt fragile now. Breakable. Like glass on the edge of precipice. One hard push and he would fall.

"A coma?" Yoosung repeated slowly. Each syllable sounded foreign, alien, and he swallowed. His throat was dry. Next to him, on the bedside table, a vase full of flowers and a glass of water sat.

"Yes." Jumin paused, his brow knitting together. From the side of the room Yoosung couldn't see, light filtered in, birds chirping quietly just out of reach. "What do you remember?"

"I..." Yoosung slowly sipped the water. His toes curled. Seven had taken him to Unknown's hideout, a building in the middle of the woods. And then, and then—

_It was dark. A branch crunched underfoot as they skulked in the bushes._

Wait here,_ Seven told him before disappearing. Yoosung couldn't do that—MC was in danger. Another boy appeared, looking like a white-haired Luciel, a maniac grin as he held the trigger to the bomb. Pain, like a bolt of lightning, as sharp as an ice pick, and suddenly the world went black. Half the world went black. His eye burned like fire._

It'll be okay,_ Seven murmured, slinging an arm under his armpits and dragging him up from the ground._

_Something wet trailed Yoosung's cheeks. Iron filled his mouth and the pain wouldn't stop._ Is it over?

_Seven just shook his head, grief-stricken._ I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you'll be okay.

_Yoosung's feet bumped into something and with his one good eye, he spotted blue. Blue and red. V. V was on the ground. Blood bloomed on his chest like one of those sunflowers that Rika used to love so much. Rika—_

"Rika." Yoosung almost spilled his water. Startled out of his memories, he stared at Jumin. "Rika was there."

Jumin didn't say anything and Yoosung tightened his grip on the cool glass. He remembered now, the flash of blonde hair, Rika's expression twisted into a smile that she should never have given. Rika had definitely been there.

And somehow, despite all that had happened, this was the strangest news: Rika was _alive_.

"Rika's alive," Yoosung repeated aloud, looking at Jumin for confirmation. That part couldn't have been a dream. He put down the glass, struggling to get out of bed. "Is she okay?"

"She's okay. The doctor is checking on her." Jumin's words were clipped and precise, as though that was the best news he could offer. He said nothing else, his dark eyes studying Yoosung.

"The doctor?" His feet were too heavy, his body still lethargic from the painkillers. At least she was here. Injured, perhaps, but somewhere he could reach. Somewhere he could touch. "Where is she?"

Jumin opened his mouth, then paused. His hand rubbed his neck and for once, he looked uncomfortable. "She…"

Panic flooded Yoosung's mind and once more he tried to get off the bed. Something was wrong, horribly wrong, and an image of Rika in white robes, a knife in her hand, flashed through his mind. A crazy image. An insane image.

"Where is she?" His voice came out higher than he wanted, breaking at the last word.

Firm hands pushed him back onto the bed, Jumin finally moving. "You need to rest." When Yoosung started to protest, he shook his head. "After. I will take you _after_ the doctor says you can walk."

Alive, Yoosung reminded himself, she was alive. Everything else could wait. Gritting his teeth, he nodded. "Fine."

-x-

"Yoosung!" MC clutched his hands, her knuckles white as she gripped him tightly. Worry filled her brown eyes and he silently cursed himself for giving her that expression. Her voice trembled as she leaned forward onto the hospital bed. "Your eye!"

He disentangled one hand to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her soft skin. As embarrassing as it was to be seen like this, at least he was strong enough to sit up now. Slipping on an easy-going grin, he shrugged. "I can be a pirate now."

"Don't pretend." She leaned into his touch and her eyes bore into his. Sometimes he forgot how strong she was, how capable. After all, she had lived with a bomb for a week without trying to run away. That took more nerves than he possessed. "Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore." When she still looked doubtful, he shook his head, careful to keep his smile. "The painkillers aren't _that_ bad and the doctor said they could operate on it tomorrow."

"If you say so." Her hand came up, covering his, and she closed her eyes. "But let me know if you need anything."

It was funny, he was supposed to be the one reassuring her. Even when she was trapped in Rika's apartment, it had always been MC comforting him, not the other way around. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers. "Got it."

"Promise me," she repeated, opening her eyes now. How many times had her words saved him?

Strength. He wanted to be strong for her. Next time, he would be the one comforting her. "I promise," he repeated, closing the gap to kiss her.

-x-

"Jumin wanted to come but, Mr. Chairman is keeping him busy." Jaehee smiled, looking happier for once. As usual, dark circles were prominent under her eyes, giving her face a haggard look. Yoosung could only imagine how hard Jumin was working her.

"Sounds difficult," Yoosung murmured, looking at each door they passed anxiously. The hospital hall felt long, much longer than it had been when he walked to the cafeteria or to the bathroom.

Jaehee walked at a snail's pace and he wanted to urge her to go faster, but she was probably just trying to match him and his was kind like that.

Her hands played with the edge of her jacket as she talked. "How are you?"

"Fine." Yoosung tightened his grip on the wooden cane, leaning against it as he walked. It was a little frightening to only see half of the world, to hear things and have no idea what was happening. The first few days he kept turning his head to see, to know, but now he ignored the distractions.

"Really?" Jaehee's lips pinched, as though she were holding back. Comfort and pity, he hoped. He had enough of the doctors, of Jumin's silent lies. "That's good. Everyone was so worried."

"Sorry about that." Yoosung's free hand rose to touch his bandages, bound tight to his face. "How's Seven?"

"Luciel?" Jaehee flinched, biting her lip before looking away. "He's…he's not taking it well. He still blames himself."

As expected. Yoosung frowned. "It's my fault though."

"Even though you both were reckless and foolhardy, it's neither of your faults," Jaehee corrected, hesitantly reaching out to squeeze his shoulder.

Suddenly, she came to a stop. "Oh. We're here."

"Here?" Yoosung stared at the hospital door with no name plate on it. How inconspicuous. Slowly, he raised his hand to rap the white door. White, like her robes, and all he could remember was the faraway look in her eyes as she held a bloody knife. His throat dried and his hand dropped before he could make a sound.

"Yoosung?" Jaehee cocked her head, peering up at him.

"Nothing." His lips quirked, a half smile, and he turned the doorknob. A bright light blinded him and he covered his eye with an arm as his sight adjusted. In the mid-afternoon sun, sitting on the bed, was Rika. Before he knew it, he dropped his cane and was running to her, his feet taking a life of their own. "Rika!"

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly, before realizing something was wrong. Very wrong. She didn't answer, didn't say a word. Her eyes gazed blankly at the ceiling. Barely parted lips breathed in and out. Only the rising of her chest that indicated that she was alive.

"Rika?" Yoosung waved his hand in front of her eyes, but she didn't respond. "Rika? What's wrong?"

"She…you remember what you found in the woods, right?" Jaehee's eyes were full of pity and maybe he didn't want that after all.

"After she…she stabbed V, stabbed Jihyun, she couldn't take the shock of his injuries. He almost died, after all." Jaehee paused, looking at Rika. "Or so the doctor said."

V. Yoosung couldn't stop the snide thoughts that even while unconscious, V caused problems. Rika didn't respond to any of the words, not even V's name.

"Rika. It's me, Yoosung." That didn't stir her either and choking back his grief, he asked, "Will…will she be better?"

"I don't know." A troubled expression crossed Jaehee's face. She hadn't moved from the entrance to the room and maybe she knew of the woods, of what happened there. Of that bizarre building and her cult-like worshippers.

"Jumin said that people were brainwashed," Yoosung mumbled, gently fixing her bangs. Her hair looked wild, completely unlike the bright, cheerful cousin he knew. Rika was more like a doll than a human, not even reacting to his touch.

"Yes, the doctors are treating them now." Jaehee held his cane tightly in her hands, her fingers digging into the wood. "They think they can cure them." She bit her lip. Softly, she murmured, "I can't believe she…"

Vehemently, he shook his head. "She must have been brainwashed too."

Jaehee set down the cane before crossing the room to pick up a chair. Even with her back to him, he knew the expression on her face. "Maybe." Then she turned around, smiling softly. "Here, sit on this, you still haven't recovered from your blood loss."

-x-

"Yo!" Seven poked his head through the door, a mischievous grin on his face. Skipping in, he plopped a plastic bag on Yoosung's lap. "Got ya something."

Yoosung blinked. The usual Seven. He didn't know what he expected, but not that. "Seven?" Scanning his body, he saw no signs of injury. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that." Seven rolled his eyes, flicking Yoosung on the forehead. His expression softened. "Your eye?"

"It won't be perfect but it'll heal." He chuckled weakly, reaching up to touch the bandage. He barely felt it now. "And mom thought video games would ruin my eyesight first."

"They still can." Seven pulled out a laptop from the bag. "To get rid of the boredom."

LOLOL. He stared at the laptop. It was funny how that game used to mean everything to him and now he couldn't stomach opening it. "Thanks."

Some of his thoughts must have shown on his face because Seven suddenly looked guilty. Rue coloured his voice. "I'm sorry."

Rue and something else. Shame? Of what? "Why are you here?"

"To see you, of course." All of a sudden, he was smiling like a fool. "I was going to dress like a nurse and surprise you, but Jaehee forbid it."

A lie. Another one. Yoosung's life was full of them and maybe he would never get rid of them. His hands clenched on his bed covers as he forced a laugh. "I'd rather be blind with both eyes than see that."

-x-

Rika didn't respond to sound, whether it was Yoosung's voice or the words of her doctors. Even Jumin couldn't get to her and it was only when they played V's answering machine that a flicker of emotion crossed her face.

"He's a liar, you know," Yoosung muttered, pushing her wheelchair onto the hospital grounds. Once a day, they got time to go outside for fresh air. Even if sound didn't interest Rika, light did and she turned her head toward the sun the moment they stepped out of the shade.

"The sun…" she murmured, raising a hand to try and grab the light.

"A liar," Yoosung repeated, cross. Positioning her chair next to a bench, he plopped down beside her. "He lied about your death and your…your…where you were, and even after he promised to tell me the truth, he lied then too."

Rika didn't hear him. She never did. Smiling wide, she continued to reach for the sky. Yoosung waved a hand in front of her but she didn't see him. Maybe she never had, just as he'd never seen her.

"Hey, Rika," he whispered, each word sounding too loud. "Did you…did you really do this? Did you know? Why?"

The silence was his only answer.

-x-

A doctor. A vet. Yoosung had wanted to be one or the other for the longest time and then Rika had 'died'. After that, saving a life didn't feel as important anymore, not when he couldn't save the life of the person he loved the most.

Yoosung pulled open his bedside drawer and stared at the textbooks sitting inside. His mother had brought them when she'd visited, her hands twisting as she tried to understand just what had happened. Just how it had happened.

He had claimed he was tired and sent her away but the books had stayed, untouched and hidden until now. Biology. Chemistry. Psychology. All general knowledge suitable for a first year still deciding his specialization. All books without a single note or crinkle, the only difference between them and a new textbook was the missing shrink wrap.

The doctor had mentioned that nothing was wrong with Rika physically, that it was all in her brain. Yoosung glanced at Seven's laptop, sitting on top of the drawer, before grabbing the psychology textbook.

-x-

It was only at night that Yoosung could bring himself to visit V, when the hospital was empty and the hallways barely lit. His footsteps echoed on the linoleum floors, barely drowning out the soft hum of machines.

Tap.

Tap.

He walked past the room and the three beyond it before finally turning around, going back. There was a small observation window into V's room, his condition so fragile they would not allow any visitors in. Jumin had come here. He had stood where Yoosung stood now, staring into the room that looked bleached white, almost like a bone thanks to the fluorescent lights.

V lay inside, as pale as a corpse. If it weren't for the steadily beeping heart rate monitor, he might as well have been one. He looked small buried beneath all of the bandages and blankets. Nothing at all like the man who knew and allowed Rika do what she did.

"How long did you know? That Rika..." Even now, he couldn't say it aloud. It would make it real. Real in a way he wasn't ready to deal with. Yoosung pressed his hand against the glass. He needed to feel something solid.

V didn't move, his chest barely rising and falling. He had told no one about Rika, and that secret had almost taken him to the grave.

"We could have stopped this. Changed this," Yoosung muttered, resting his forehead against the window. If V had told just one person-Jumin with his money or Seven with his hacking or anyone.

Even Yoosung. Especially Yoosung. His hand curled against the cool glass.

_I'll tell you everything_, V had said, his arms cradling Yoosung against his chest. Even then, he had been a liar. He should never have come to his room, never have comforted him, if he was just going to pull the same shit over and over again.

_It's my fault, so don't blame yourself_.

"Why would I?" Yoosung growled. The machines beeped in response and V was silent as he'd ever been. As he'd always been.

V's chest had been firm, his hands soothing as he had patted Yoosung's back.

"I hate you." And those words sounded like a lie too.

-x-

"Which one do you like?" Seven asked, holding up two different eye patches. Cool silver patterns of a wolf and a rose were on each patch, and he knew without asking they were from Seven's cosplay collection. Despite the smile, there was an overwhelming sense of shame.

Yoosung could understand regret and guilt, but not shame. Tired of this game of pretend, he crossed his arms. "Neither."

Seven swallowed, sensing a shift in the air. His smile dropped a notch. "Hate the colour?"

"You're hiding something," Yoosung bit out, eyes narrowed. "What?"

"There's nothing." Seven put down the eyepatches onto the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "You tired?"

"You know I'm not!" Yoosung shouted. It was funny how after becoming half blind he could finally see the world clearly. See Seven clearly. This had always been an act, hadn't it? No one could be this cheerful, this nonsensical, all the time. "You're hiding something! About Rika. About V. About that place, you _know_ something and you aren't telling me!"

"Yoosung." Seven reached out to touch him and Yoosung slapped his hand away. Cradling the back of his hand, he stepped back. "It's…it's not important."

"Like hell it isn't!" Yoosung snarled, clenching his bed sheets tightly. He hurled the eyepatches at him. "Tell me what it is!"

When Seven didn't say anything, Yoosung wiped the tears from his eyes. Quietly, he whispered, "Please. Why does everyone lie to me?"

"I…" Seven's smiled dropped completely and for the first time, Yoosung saw him. A boy who was no older than him, with a vulnerable note to his voice. "Your eye…it was my brother."

That stopped Yoosung cold. "Your brother?"

"My brother." Seven's hand gripped his shirt and he looked away. "He…Rika…she did something to him. And he became Unknown."

Oh. Brother. That explained the shame. The guilt. And Rika, Rika did that. The cult was a faceless mass up until now and suddenly all Yoosung could see was the white-haired boy, his eyes as gold as Seven's.

-x-

"MC!" Yoosung tried to smile when his girlfriend entered the room but the last few days were too much. Even the news that he could take off the bandages tomorrow didn't change anything. Slipping off his bed, he quickly hugged her.

"Yoosung?" MC stiffened momentarily before sliding her arms around him. Her hands stroked his back gently and he relaxed under her touch. "You okay?"

"Yes." Another lie. Yoosung was tired of them. "No."

Maybe he never would be. Rika wasn't a hero nor a saint. She had healed with the same hand she hurt and maybe he never knew her all along. "Rika…she…"

MC said nothing, merely listening as she comforted him. He pressed his face into her shoulder, the scent of soap and lavender flooding his senses. He closed his eyes. Breathed in. Breathed out.

"She did this, all of this, didn't she?" And it wasn't a question, not really, he knew that now.

"Yes," MC agreed. Her hands didn't stop.

"She hurt everyone." And it left him in a rush as he buried his face against her neck. "She hurt and she hurt and she could have killed you and she almost killed V and…that was Rika. That was all Rika." He tasted salt on his lip. "Why?"

"I don't know." MC turned her head slightly, pressing a kiss against the side of his head.

"Me too." The truth stung like a bee's prick. "Rika was never like that. She had the biggest smile when she helped others."

Her hands had always been moving, doling out food, setting up charities, planting trees. Kindness, she'd told him once, was hard and that was what made it important.

Where was the kindness in her cult, in her drugs, in her web of deceit? He clutched MC tighter, as though she too would disappear. "Was it all a lie?"

"I'm sure it wasn't entirely," MC murmured.

"Is it ok?" He pulled back, his sight blurry. "To still like her? To still love her? Despite what she did?" Yoosung didn't think he had it in him to hate her. Not when he could still remember her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it proudly as he showed his latest marks.

"It's fine." She stroked his head, running her fingers through his hair. "You knew a different side of Rika. Just remember that wasn't all of her."

A different side. That made it sound better. A bad Rika. A good Rika. And somehow, a Rika that was both. "I…I want to talk to V. When he wakes up. To actually talk, for once and find out what happened."

"That's a good idea." Her thumb brushed his tears.

"Yeah." Yoosung covered her hand, leaning into her touch. He loved her, he realized with stunning clarity, and he wondered if this is what V felt, what Rika felt, when they looked at one another. If they had felt this once before it all went wrong.

Maybe he could have gone wrong too, could have slipped down this path if he'd heard the wrong word. A wrong turn and he could have ended up just like Rika and V, a twisted, distorted version of himself. Just where had they stumbled? Just where had he kept upright?

Somewhere along the way, he had found the right path and they hadn't. But it wasn't too late, he had to believe that. Maybe they could never be forgiven for what they'd done, but they could walk back into the light and atone for what they did.

And maybe, just maybe, this time they could all see each other for who they are.


End file.
